once upon a time there was a bald frog...

a random question,a classic dysfunctional affair and the tale begins:

Once upon a time there was a bald frog.he was a unique frog.able to put all eyes on him when he started singing.but his insecurity about his appearance made him sing only at night.hidden among the rocks in the middle of the river.when no one could see him. and no one could hold him.
He was enjoying the appreciation and admiration that his audience offered.he didn't have to do anything to survive.his food was provided by his dedicated and enchanted admirers.there were lines of princesses waiting and asking to see to touch the singing frog.
There was a rumour that frog was a prince that his narcissism angered a witch and transformed him to a frog.and because he mostly loved his hair she made him bald too.
Time passed and his fame spread..He started to feel like a prince again. thought it was time to present himself.but how he could do it without revealing his bald head?
he needed this veil of mystery that made him even more wanted... so he made a wig.and decided to start singing the time the declining sun thickened the shadows.
He made it..now even more enchanted people filled the river shore...he had the experience to rivet their attention and with his wig specially made to shine when sun fell upon them he was irresistible.safe,wanted and shadowy..the prince he always wanted to be....
At the shore.among the crowd.there was one princess that was ready to jump in the river and join him.she was staying late listening to him..they came closer after a while. she was also enchanted by his voice.she always was vulnerable to uniqueness.at her years of adolescence she was in love with a prince that used to sing to her every night ...she lived magical moments until he left her..growing up she always was keen to singing people.she could barely stand talking to man that could not sing...
Finally one night she jumped in the river and joined him.she was so flattered of his voice that even when she understood that he had nothing else to offer to her she stayed by his side.she asked him to come out to the shore.she knew how to break the spell.but he needed to take off his wig and work for his survival.this was what the witch wanted from him.he was always finding excuses to stay there.on his rock.with his admirers his safety and the princess to love him.he could love her..but the allure of having what you want with out trying overcame his feelings....
Princess realised that shore is the place where she should live. the place to seek for her prince.. she always loved the shore.the open space.the wind. she loved laying on the grass.she could not live happy on the rock .frog's voice may still made her fly but she could land now on her feet when she wanted.
She made her final offer to the frog.she told him to come for a long walk and try work out together even if would never become a prince.she knew that the end would come even if frog said yes.he was now living with his mirror..the river.so came the day that princess waved him goodbye...
She never stopped loving his voice.but never jumped to the river again. and frog kept singing on his rock..watching his reflection at the river. always surrounded by other princesses.. always safe.with his wig shining when sun was setting......
And they lived happily ever after..
Now kids...what do we learn from this story?

Ember....

*post titled as"ember" cause it has a specific attribute and various results....


i started reading Albert Camus's:the rebel..
an essay about absurdism,murder and rebellion..
Albert is my favourite author..most people i talked about him said he is a pessimist but i always thought he was a person that just knew where to start from but never had the chance to finish it...he considered a fact that we live inside-walking hand to hand-with absurd.
we have(sometimes) to accept that some things are predetermined but that is not a reason not to fight for a change.a change that may not have an overall effect but in a personal level(that is the most important)...
this is my personal opinion...that is what i get from him...
and at the same time listening(for 569832st time): I'll believe in anything by Wolf Parade...
some of the lyrics:

"Give me your eyes, I need sunshine
Give me your eyes, I need sunshine
Your blood, your bones, your voice, and your ghost
We’ve both been
A very brave
Walk around with both legs
Fight the, the scary day
We both pulled the tricks out of our sleeves
I’ll believe in anything and
You’ll believe in anything
I Said I’ll believe in anything and
You’ll believe in anything
If I could get the fire out from the wire
I’d share a life and you’d share a life
If I could take the fire out from the wire
I’d take you where nobody knows you
And nobody gives a damn I said nobody knows you
And nobody gives a damn
And I could take another hit for you
And I could take away the trips from you
And I could take away the salt from your eyes
Take away skin and salt in you
And I could give you my apologies
By handing over my neologies
And I could take away your shaky knees
And I could give you all the olive trees
And look at the trees and look at my face
and look at a place far away from here......."

we are individuals that spare energy and passion..
you know how to deal with hunger...you've been taught.
you can try you can steal you can die.....
you know how to measure pride...
it is pride or nothing...you've been taught...
we know how to deal with things that their solution is embedded in our minds ....
we also have our instincts to "protect" us....
..and time stretches and we struggle to keep up with it's wills...no time to realise no time to understand....we just want to live....
but sometimes there are vestiges itching our neck....
leaving indelible marks..
these marks make us touch ourselves when we look at the mirror..
seek for a feeling that once made us sparkle...
something unique and at the same time familiar...

growing up means you have to choose what to keep before you choose what to seek..
at least that is how we jog along...
result:when there are too many vestiges you can't move on..
desires and unfulfilled states versus fears and time limits....
traveller or tourist?
translator or consumer?

we fall in love with creativity....
we need certain attributes..
we try to forget and not get over something...
and we come to the point where absurd is flying around us buzzing...
when we need to believe in something,in anything so as to give everything to it..

there is no question to be answered.....
i have problems completing my thoughts....
i just left a message in a bottle that has no bung...
i did not even threw it in the sea...
tide has it's way......
sun can dry it or evaporate it.....
but then i leave my self to fate.....
and the circle closes.....
i hold the seal....
i can sign what i say...
but i m out of bungs...

i miss the chain of salty water drops when you walk out of sea.
realisations come the same way.
leftovers...surprising our skin,joyfully tickling our back and usually evaporate just the time that our body needs them...

Never use a towel when you come out of the sea...


*To a person that i could give away my last bung...cause i know that carries the same message...
maybe not a message with the same starting point the same route and destination, but sun and water surely have the same effects on them...
To a person that uses the same ink that i use.....

(θα) έχει ωραίο φεγγάρι σήμερα.....

incoming sms...time 13:45 :"να πας μια βόλτα το βράδυ,(θα) έχει ωραίο φεγγάρι."

Νύχτωσε στην Ελλάδα.

Μόλις σταμάτησε να βρέχει...κοιτώ τον καιρό στη TV. ..35 c, 85% humidity,thunderstorm warning.
Αναρωτιέμαι:"Απο πότε έχω να κοιτάξω το φεγγάρι;"-να το κοιτάξω όχι να το δω....
"Γιατί;"
Απο τότε που θυμάμαι τον εαυτό μου ,πάντα γοητευόμουν απο την οικουμενική και πιο μυστικιστικη θεότητα, απο το χιλιοτραγουδισμένο αυτο τόπι που κρέμεται λίγο πιο χαμηλά-λιγάκι πιο ψηλά απο τα ονειρά μας...
Το αναζητούσα όπου και να βρισκόμουν.
Με ηρεμούσε τα ανοιξιάτικα και καλοκαιρινά βράδια στις παραλίες και στα μπαράκια.Με νύσταζε,με κρατούσε ξάγρυπνο.
Το χειμώνα ένιωθα δέος οταν εμφανιζόταν πίσω απο λευκά σύννεφα, παγώμενο, αστραφτερό. Μου έλεγε οτι το κρύο το φέρνει εκείνο σε εμάς.Για να μας υποδείξει την συμβολή του στον κύκλο της ζωής.
Του έριχνα κλεφτές ματιές όταν το φιλί μούσκευε κ τα δόντια παίρναν τη σκυτάλη...
Κάποιες φορές το κυνήγησα και ανέβηκα στη ράχη του, κάποιες άλλες ήρθε και με βρήκε αυτό..
Όταν ουσίες λιγάκι πιο παράνομες και πολύ πιο αποτελεσματικές απο το Red Bull βράζαν μέσα στο μυαλό μου , βρισκόμασταν στη μέση της διαδρομής και παίζαμε παρέα...
Για να μη πολυλογώ ήταν κάτι που δε παραμελούσα και δεν με απογοήτευε ποτέ..

Βγαίνω να το κοιτάξω.Η υγρασία και τα σύννεφα το κρύβουν, αλλά ξέρω που είναι.
Ακόμα και αν έχω να το κοιτάξω εδώ και τρεις μήνες.
Δεν νιώθω το ίδιο....δε με απογοητεύει,αλλά ούτε με θλίβει η απουσία του.....
Τι θέλει να μου πει;
Μήπως δεν με γεμίζει το νέο μου σπίτι;-όσο όμορφο και αν το βρίσκω...
Μήπως έπαψα να κοιτώ και απλά αντιλαμβάνομαι τις καταστάσεις και το περιβάλλον γυρω μου ως μια αναπόφευκτη συνέχεια,μια αλυσιδώτη αντίδραση του χρόνου και του τόπου, στην οποία είμαι είμαι αμέτοχος παρατηρητής και όχι στοίχειο της;
Μήπως μου λέει να πάψω να την υπολογίζω τόσο;
Να μην είναι δικαιολογία,να μην την έχω σαν κερασάκι στη τούρτα της ημέρας;


"We turn toward God only to obtain the impossible."
Albert Camus.

Και όπως στις στιγμές που συναντιόμασταν στη μέση της διαδρομής, τη περιμένω και σήμερα.
Πάντα είχα πρόβλημα στην οριοθέτηση και ο ενθουσιασμός μου έκανε το ακατόρθωτο να μοιάζει ένα βήμα παραπάνω.Ίσως γιατί δεν είχα ποτέ σταθερή πορεία.

Έχοντας την επιλογή-δυνατότητα-θάρρος-αφέλια να μην ακολουθήσεις μια διαδρόμη οριοθετημένη ενώ διατηρείς το στόχο, η εκάστοτε σελήνη-Θεότητα σε αποπροσανατολίζει με την συνεχή παρουσία της, ή σε παροτρύνει να συνεχίσεις;

Γιατί κάνουμε συνώνυμο του ανεξήγητου το ακατόρθωτο;

Γιατί βάζω αυτά τα ερωτήματα, αφού ποτέ δεν τη θεοποίησα;
αφού το μόνο που ήθελα ήταν να θυμηθώ...

Πολλές φορές δε ξέρω που πρέπει να σταματήσω να ψάχνω για εξηγήσεις.Πολλές φορές δε μου φτάνει,άλλες δε μου αρέσουν και συνεχίζω μέχρι να δώσω-βρώ αυτή που μου ταιριάζει.
'Αλλες τις χρειάζομαι για να ανακουφιστώ.έστω προσωρινά...
Μόνο που αύτο το τόπι δεν συγκαταλέγεται,δεν περιορίζεται μέσα σε σημεία στίξης.
Δεν με φοβίζει, δεν με λογαριάζει...
Κάποιες στιγμές-ελάχιστες - γίνεται καθρέφτης μου..και τότε οι εξηγήσεις προλαβαίνουν τα ερωτήματα.
Τότε η άβυσσος μοιάζει με ενυδρίο......
Δε θα ψάξω για απαντήσεις σήμερα.
Έτσι και αλλιώς δεν την είδα σήμερα για να μιλήσουμε...ΤΗΝ γιατί μου αρέσει να τη λέω σελήνη,όχι φεγγάρι.....

knot

Thinking of times I refused to grab a rope offered to me….and I fell
Thinking of times I refused to grab a rope offered to me.. and I fell with a smile on my face….
Thinking of times that I refused to grab a rope and jumped landing on feathers….
Thinking of times I was wishing for a rope and instead I got a knot….
Thinking of times I was wishing for a rope and it came with knots to handle and climb..
Thinking that I jumped for a first time having a rope in my hands….
Thinking that I jumped without thinking that ropes sometimes are not tied somewhere…
Thinking that these ropes are only tied in my hands..
Thinking of this fall…
Wishing I never have trusted ropes…..
They were made to hold things…to hang things….to restrain…