Ax.Tar.Mas(scene 2-walking towards memories)

....al.e comes up from the well of the dark thoughts.


al.e: why are you in such a hurry?let me sow you something i found down there..
me:we have not time for games now.we have to find the intruder.don't forget that it took us so much time to organise our mind and work together without breaking down the whole place..
al.e:ok..i know how stubborn you are,and i m not in a mood for arguing now.i had a great time down there..
me:anyway,let's walk together till next crossroad.
al.e:what's next?
me:i think memories section.
al.e:that's your turn to search.i don't get in there.it's such a mess and it's all your fault.
me:don't start with that again..everything was in order till you came and fucked all up.you put all the stupid quest-filled vases of yours and with the first blow they fell on the existing memories. the result?a liquid mess.colors without color.
al.e:first of all,I've already told you that i was here from the beginning.it's not my fault that you were afraid to get out of your room and see what's going on at the other levels.
and about my vases..how should i know that you would have left the door open?
me:i was not afraid to go to the other levels..it's a matter of priorities..that was always our difference.i have priorities..you?you wade in every music that makes you dizzy.
al.e:it's not 'dizzy', you porter of reality..it's new experiences with grey hair,wearing bright colored costumes..and i can't forget the times you danced listening to my music...
me:your absurd talking again..realise it!!!only you can hear and agree with what you say..
al.e:that's true.it's not my purpose to make you, or any one else to understand me..i mostly seek another 'lunatic' as you call me to expand my horizons.to get in his.not to let him describe me how they look like..
...Menories section in sight..
me:thank god we are here..i forgot how painful it was to try talking with you.
al.e:i love it when i make you refer with gratitude in something you do not believe..
me: (opens the door ,entering the Memories section)

end of scene two.....

Με αρωματισμένες στάλες

*Σε θέλω σε ταξίδια, με άμμο στις γάμπες σου
και φύλλα μπλεγμένα στα μαλλιά σου.
με τα μελένια μάτια σου να καταπίνουν
αχόρταγα τα ταπεινά χρώματα του δρόμου.
με χείλη διψασμένα να ρουφούν τις στάλες
που ηθελημένα κυλούν στο λαιμό μου.

Σε θέλω όταν ριζώνουμε μέσα σε στενάχωρα δωμάτια
με κουρασμένα μάτια και απρόθημα κορμία,
να παίζουν τα δάχτυλα σου που κρύβουν ζωή,
με το φώς που τρυπώνει ανάμεσα απ τις κουρτίνες.

Σε θέλω με κομμένες ανάσες από τα γέλια,
με κομμένες ανάσες απο τις ανατριχίλες....

Σε θέλω όταν κοιμάσαι,να διαγράφεται το στήθος σου
μέσα από το λέπτο σου νυχτικό.
να πασχίζει το σκούρο δερματάκι του να ακουστεί
τρίβωντας το ύφασμα σε κάθε εισπνοή,
με τα σεντόνια χαρούμενα τσαλακωμένα κάτω
απ'τα ηλεκτρισμένα ακροδαχτυλά σου.

Σε θέλω όταν ξυπνάς,να με τραβάς πάνω σου
και να φυσάς τον πρώτο αναστεναγμό σου,
αυτόν που είναι γεμάτος με τα βραδινά σου όνειρα,
μέσα στα χείλη μου.
με το πρωινό σου χαμόγελο τεντώνοντας την τελευταία
υγρασία που σφράγιζε τα χείλη σου,
να φτιάχνει την πιο γλυκιά αλυσίδα

Σε θέλω όταν κοιμάμαι , τα σκιρτήματα του κορμιού σου
κ η απαλότητα της επιδερμίδας σου κλεισμένα στα χέρια μου,
να με δένουν σε μια καλούμπα για να μη χάθω στους εφιάλτες μου

Σε θέλω όταν ξυπνώ, με την μυρωδιά σου να γεμίζει
έρωτα τα ρουθούνια μου.
να βάζω το χέρι μου ανάμεσα στα λυγισμένα πόδια σου
και να γεμίζω με την πιο οικεία ζέστη το μυαλό μου..
να φιλώ το λαιμό σου και ακουμπώντας τη γλώσσα μου
απαλά στη φλέβα του να μαθαίνω πως χτυπά η καρδιά σου..

Σε θέλω με μισάνοιχτα μάτια και βραχνή φωνή.
με γλυκές γεμάτες συλλαβές να αναβλύζουν απ'το λαιμο σου
και ορθάνοιχτα μάτια..

Σε θέλω σε βροχες κάτω από δέντρα που μας λούζουν
με αρωματισμένες στάλες,
μέσα στις βρόντες που εξάπτουν τα μουσκεμένα κορμία μας..

Σε Αυγουστιάτικα καταμεσήμερα
με αλατισμένα απο τον ιδρώτα δέρματα,
πάνω σε ηλιοκαμμένα βότσαλα που καρφιτσώνουν τις πατούσες μας..

Σε βράδια που βιάζονται να ξεκινήσουν,σε βράδια που βιάζονται να τελιώσουν..
Σε νύχτες πολικές,σε νύχτες με ζεστά φεγγαρια....

Μέσα στο πλήθος να με αφήνεις να ζώ στον κόσμο μου..
Στην ερήμια να τσουγκρίζουμε ποτήρια με ξεχασμένες παρέες....
Μέσα στο πλήθος να με κάνεις να φιλιώνω και να γιορτάζω με αγνώστους..
Στην έρημια να σου μαθαίνω τυφλά χάδια...

Με δάχτυλα δεμένα ,χείλη δαγκωμένα........

Για τη μελένια μου..

Close the window

02/18/2007

night walks away, washed up by the snowsquall...
lost in a maze of thoughts....with full ashtray, coffe cup smelling cuba's molasses and sugarcanes -and cold feet reminding me to close the window before sleeping....
wondering....having too many thoughts ends up with an empty-handed stranger ringing your bell?
no one of them answers...i assume it's a yes...

Ax.Tar.Mas(scene1-the intruder)

starring in scene one:

ME(as Me), al.e(as my Alter Ego)

me:pssiiiitt...did you press "PUBLISH"?
al.e:no i thought it was you...what happened?
me:hhmmm...i think someone else invaded our mind...
al.e:let's split and find him...there is not enough space for one more in here...
me:we are always split!!!!
a.e:you are right(doinggg!!!!).ok let's start searching
me:it's your turn to dig in the dark thoughts..
al.e:yuppyyyyy!!!!!
..after two hours..
me:heyyyyy?????where are you al.e???
al.e:i m down here(echo)
me:have you found anything?
al.e:i can't tell...it's so dark and wet in here...(echo)
me:then come up..we are loosing time!(frustration)
al.e:so what?you know i love hide and seek..(no echo)
........end of scene one

inside....

Friday...April 20th..Lake Ontario..22 Celsius..sunny...
seagulls... ducks..swans..dogs... airplanes..waterplanes..boats...sailing ships.... roller-skates..bikes.. couples..sleepers....lunatics...exhibitionists... peepers..dreamers.. tourists..natives...lazy people..goers...
double espresso...mineral water..du Maurier light...camera and mp3 player without battery.....
sitting on a concrete bench 2 meters by the water...a link to the colorful buzzing human chain..
feeling i deserve to be a part of this image....
reading about Hawaii,dynamites,love,socialism,moonlight effects...
i m full..so full there is nothing distinguishable inside me....i blend..i drink image snapshots..i burp thoughts..
"the mushrooms in Amsterdam...there was no sun that time.."
"She's watching Almodovar and she's bored..."
"trees have not bloomed yet.."
"oohhh..what a butt!!"
"hmmm..seagulls are very fast.."
"i have to take a photo...it's beautiful..shit..i have no batteries.."
"yes 4 mushrooms....there were four...."
"i should call her..she must be struggling to stay awake...."
.."hmm..eventually something is missing from my painting.."
......i can't remember if always something is missing..

but now i know which is the missing part:

A phone call.a link to another image.

"too much sun for one day.."
......i m smiling to my self...or with my self.....never found out which one is...

Realizations

They come in colors. Segregated. Always fancy. To give you a clear spot to watch. To define target and either hunt or run away from it. They are always followed by actions. Actions , therefore, movement.
When realizations come in speed and in a big quantity, movement is disoriented, the eye gets blurry and clearness abstracts. How able are we to face this pictorial puzzle that is a more dangerous state than inexplicability?
Because, seeing no light, is sometimes relieving.
Getting blinded by light, is always painful.
We have to use the previous state, to lower the intensity of the colors and demarcate them. So we have to balance the blur. Focus. But never forget the background. Cause realizations need a socle.
We need to remember the questions and have a feedback circuit.
Time can alternate the nature of the question therefore the image. So the realization if we do not doubt it constantly will become a false guide.

reverie life

Reverie Life
What a pleasure when you hunt something. It's a natural instinct that human kind possesses and uses either for survival or pleasure. Both of those uses, come to a climax…
The most detectable and important difference between them is the time that the climax takes place. If hunting comes for survival purposes the highest level of pleasure lies either on the time that the target is in our hands helpless or sometimes when its death gives us a life overtime. When hunting comes for pleasure the climax heaves during the hunting procedure. In the end, when the survival's climax comes, there is a relief, a review of the journey, a tear of happiness, a shiver, an ego boost, a satisfaction. Sometimes there is no end at all. Target changes and changes. And the hunter finds himself in a prey paradise or in a fly hunt-depending on conditions. Dreams are sometimes conquered, sometimes abandoned - always hunted.. Always?
What kind of hunting reflects us?
Does it come as a medium of happiness pursuit, does it have its primary nature and works as a bell that wakes us and tells us to go on?
Are hunting tools noble when they snatch other's dreams(if hunting's purpose is not survival)? Are there dreamless people? Or are they easily satisfied? Compromised? Afraid?
And is there the case that the dream is the hunter and the dreamer the victim?