Amnesia or oblivion?

I press the play button in my memory, rewind broke a long time ago.. i hear the time passing by me.. I accepted the fact that, past in my mind, is just compressed colorful images ready to explode, when an electric pulse lost in neurons of my head accidentally triggers them and creates a chain reaction in my present…

At this time…I don’t want to make a reference to the effects of those explosions..
I m trying to answer to the question: amnesia or oblivion?
I try to find the reasons of this broken in pieces memory of mine.
The dawn of this new era lies seven years ago ,in a nodal point of my life. .When I decided to cut off the chemical nutrition of my mind. When I started to have sober moments that lasted more than 2 hours.. I still trip me with alcohol and a once or twice a year with some of natures finest products or
something from Dr.Leary’s basket….

And now I m getting to the question that I put to my self….
Why this happens to me? Is it a pathological side effect of excessive hallucinations consumption? Or consciously I tangle my memories to keep me in a constant “trip”?
It’s noon.. I’m working on the answer for hours now.. i need something to drink…
I’ll quit….

I have accepted that…….and I love the way that enthusiasm strikes me when an image explodes in me or when I try to find out if an experience that I live, something that I read that I saw is new or already happened to me.. and either way watch it in a different angle.. trying to find out more about everything…

Curiosity has always been my characteristic and now powdered with the lust that only a kid in a new planet would have, makes me want to live everything intensively….

So……I’ll stay with the query ….i m moving on my next moment.. fake or not…